A Life Left Unattended

Irish house sketch

“Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.”

Charles Dickens

My husband and I were living quite contently in Manhattan when we discovered we were expecting our first child. Being aware of the great sacrifice Mother’s make to their children I believed I was simply not cut out for such an adventure. Despite all the precautions, the universe thought otherwise. Although I know many families happily raise their children in the city, for me I wanted a little piece of green. I big backyard for flowers, herb garden and fresh tomatoes. Without millions, that was not to be offered us in Manhattan. So we began looking at transfer options with my husbands company. We decided on Utah and off we went. We bought an adorable little “starter home” on a little over an acre. We planted our first garden and adopted our first dog. I set about happily filling our home with thrift store finds. Soon our little blessing was born and being a stay at home Mom was not so difficult. I began making bows and selling them on Ebay. I created a website and a craft room/playroom. I was becoming content with my little piece of the world. When my first born was only 15 months, I developed a nasty case of the “flu” that lasted for weeks on end. That “flu” turned out to be baby blessing number 2. I was sick the whole pregnancy with little energy for much of anything. When our lovely angel arrived, depression and anxiety set in. Life became about keeping my children safe and healthy and I had no desire for anything else. Now time has passed and it seems the chemicals in my brain are slowly functioning as intended and I find myself with almost 3 years of a home and life left unattended. I am ready for change. This is my journey.

2 thoughts on “A Life Left Unattended”

  1. I’ve started reading your posts from the beginning, and can’t wait to keep reading! I’m so sorry for the troubles you endured during and after your second pregnancy. I can definitely relate–not to pregnancy, but to those specific illnesses. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better now and living a lifestyle that makes you happy.

    1. This post was actually not meant to be. I had thought of starting a blog many times, but never wanted to share myself. Then one day, I just decided to see what a blog looked like, template wise really, more the aesthetics of it. I signed up and typed my first thoughts. I remember hitting that publish button and being so uncomfortable. But the whole while thinking,”I’m going to delete it so what does it matter”. Then, something happened, I felt better. Writing it down, putting it out there, it showed me I was healing and that this could be a wonderful tool to help me on that path. And it has, oh so much. So thank you for starting from the beginning and thank you for commenting. It reminded me of just how far I have come in such a short time. Blogging has been such a blessing especially meeting people who can relate.

Leave a Reply