Do you ever feel you were born in the wrong time?
Tonight I lay in bed wishing away my racing mind, when that didn’t work I tried to calm it with a book, The Sign of the Four to be exact. Once I realized that a mystery novel would lead me into an all night binge with a severe literature hangover I moved on to a British Costume Drama, Wives and Daughters. Whenever I watch period movies I become wistful, longing for a time when things were simple.
For some reason tonight, instead of laying my head comfortably down to daydream of a time of chivalry and lace, I thought of what it must have been like to be a woman of these bygone times I wish for so fervently. No property, no say, the legal possession of your husband. It wasn’t all Ms. Bingley and Mr. Darcy.
When was a good time to be a woman?
I am a woman who gives my opinion decidedly even though I know it’s possible that 5 years down the road I may vehemently disagree with myself. I wear what I want. As a Mother I am very modest in my attire, but that was not always the case. I lived on my own for 12 years before I met my husband. I went where I please, spoke with whom I chose and talked about whatever subject matter I had an inclination towards. I answered to no one.
In what time could I have lived in such a way?
Sure there are plenty of women who did all those things throughout history, but what name were they given? Today the word is independent. It has no negative connotation, no prejudice and it doesn’t insight gossip.
Perhaps now is the best time to be a woman.
So in the wee hours of the morning I will instead dream that regency dress and pianofortes come back in style.
Also, I think it may be time for a real grownup tea party.
After all, in my home are 3 ladies who would very much enjoy such an activity.
Once upon a time I wanted to live in the 50’s, mostly because I really wanted to wear poodle skirts every day and listen to oldie’s music 😉
I always wanted a poodle skirt, too! (Still do, actually. ;))
The 50’s were definitely an interesting time for clothes. Hats and gloves were still a part of Sunday best. I might go just a few more years in the future. I would love to have Doris Day’s entire wardrobe from Pillow Talk. Love that movie!
My heart is planted in the mid-1800’s. I’m not sure if growing up in the Texas Panhandle and living in various parts of Texas my entire life has anything to do with it, but I think I would have enjoyed the adventure of pioneer life.
Truth be told, when I think of the life I aspire to now, it is probably more Pioneer than anything. I want a wood burning stove,to make everything from scratch, learn to sew, make wool yarn etc.. So much work though!
I love the Little House on the Prairie times. it was hard work to be a woman for sure, but life was simpler and not so rushed.
Simpler because the things that should matter did and the things that don’t didn’t. We spend so much time thinking about others opinions, politics, religious differences. They spent their time in physical labor, sleeping well, eating well and worrying about bears not bear markets. I agree that was a good time.
If I could have been born in the 1950s and spent the rest of my life in the 1950s, I would chose that decade. There is no era, if one was born poor, that would be good. But, middle class or well-to-do in the 1950s was a relatively good time for family, fashion, home and work.
I love the fashion of that time too. I lean more to the sophisticated styles as apposed to the sock hop variety. I still love a good pencil skirt!
True, there was never a good time to be poor. Although like a few mentioned above, pioneer days was not so bad as most people had no money, but still plenty to eat and shelter.
I feel this way often – that an earlier time would be simpler. Watching “Lark Rise to Candleford”, “Cranford”, and “Mr. Selfridge” of late. All make me long for “back to basics”. On the best for women, I do think now is a good time to be a woman, but many women have found ways to have their voices heard even while holding to the mores of the time they were in. Some were despised for it, but those who could do it without demeaning men were upheld. I think any time is good for women when women are respectful of themselves, men, AND other women.
I love watching and reading about “simpler times”, of course I also dream about living in England. I am an extreme anglophile. Although, I haven’t been able to get past Jeremy Piven’s accent, so I haven’t enjoyed Mr. Selfridge like I had hoped I would.
After this comment, I decided to give Mr. Selfridge another go and I still can’t seem to get past the accent. Maybe if he’d decided to be more Chicago or maybe it was just the forced acting, I don’t know. I guess I just like my British telly to be all British.
But, it did inspire me to watch The Paradise, which I’m thoroughly enjoying. So in a round about way, thank you for my new British period drama.
I do wonder if his accent is an attempt to sound like the real Selfridge. It’s definitely not just Niven’s own American accent. I think he does a good job of showing that Selfridge is putting on the “show” when in public and the burden of it when he is alone. I’m less of a fan of the British actress playing his American wife. Her portrayal seems too stiff. But overall, I can enjoy the show – compared to 99% of the garbage on regular TV. 🙂
I wouldn’t mind living near one of the Ingalls’ houses. Maybe in the Big Woods rather than out in Indian Territory. Or perhaps on the banks of Plum Creek. Minus, you know, all the diseases that people died from back then. 🙂 BTW, I blame you for a hankering to watch Pride and Prejudice again. 😀
It’s easy to forget there was a lot of hardships we don’t face today. Like disease, violent Native Americans, harsh winters, crops that don’t grow, etc. Sorry about the P&P hankering. It was just added to Amazon Prime if you have it, I got the discs for Christmas and have been using it to get my laundry done. Nice excuse to sit all day and watch period movies. My oldest is starting to like them too. So excited about having another kindred spirit in the house.
I think right about now is perfect for me. 🙂 I love that I have the freedom to bake all day if I choose… but I don’t *have* to. I can sew all of my daughter’s clothes … but I don’t *have* to. I can tap into resources, or not. It’s a fabulous time to be a chooser, that’s for sure!
You bring up an excellent thought! Today we can choose to be pioneer women and we can choose to be modern women. Definitely something to be grateful for!
Very true.
Hallelujah! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. I was starting to feel heretical about wishing I lived in the 1950s!
I am an intelligent young woman (28), and it frustrates me that people constantly seem confused by the fact that I work in a relatively low-level job. They expect me to have big career ambitions, but I don’t! Well, I do want to be a writer, so I tell them that and they are satisfied. But really, I would love to just be a homemaker, like my mother and grandmothers before me. These long-ingrained feminine insticts are strong in me. So I feel like the feminism movement, while obviously great for many women by giving them new opportunities through equality with men, has created more challenges for me; personally, I would choose to give up my freedoms and go back to simpler times if I could. BUT it’s no good to be selfish and wistful…but I do think it’s good to be self-aware. Knowing this about myself helps me find creative ways to make my life the way I want it to be, in my own time.
I’ve actually prepared a blog post about this for a couple weeks from now…I will link to your post!
I am one of the few women in this country who think that feminism, while righteous in idea, is not for me. I like my doors opened, I like my chair pulled out, I like men to stand when I enter the room and am always a little taken aback when a man offers to shake my hand before I extend my own. I like to be treated like a lady, because I am one.
I envy you knowing what you want and I think it is perfectly wonderful to want to be a care taker to a family. It is a job few truly want and even less excel at. If you had told me you were 20 I might have thought you were dreaming. But right about 29 is when I began to better understand myself and what I wanted for my life. It was not however to be someones wife and most certainly not a housewife. But the universe felt differently, so I traded in a large portion of myself for the love of 3 humans and I would do it all over again.
Feminism is mostly about being able to choose. If you choose Motherhood, that’s just as ambitious as any career. Having experienced it, I might even say more ambitious.
I really fell in love with your blog and am really excited to read your post on living in the 50’s.
The thing about the 50’s is yes women had less choices, but I feel in a way they also had more respect. Although I know a great many bra burning women who would angrily disagree with me. You might find a few of those with your post. Let’s hope it’s all kindred spirits. So glad you stopped by!
I completely agree with your feelings about feminism and the old ways of chivalry and respect, Deidre!
As you can see, I did publish my post today, and linked to yours in it. It’s not about the 1950s, but just wishing to live in a past era.
I’ve been busy, but I can’t wait to read all your other posts as soon as I can!
Rokoko