Site icon Anam Baile

Wheat From the Chaff

Here are 6 things about me that don’t fit with my lifestyle, things that make me weird, unique and in many cases a social outlier.

I am opinionated! I have an open fluid mind that moves with experience and knowledge. I can change my beliefs in an instant if I find some new mind bending thing. But I have opinions, lots of them. I’m kind and polite so on first inspection you wouldn’t know that about me. Until I start sharing brutal truth, then you know.

I want desperately to learn to belly dance. I’m a dancer, I love to dance and I’m gonna be frank, it’s not something I could do in church. My hips are moving, I mean, moooooving. There is no other way for me to dance.

I smoke cannabis. I am 48 years old, have given birth twice and experienced childhood trauma. These three things are enough to know at some point I would have had pain, possibly chronic illness and definitely mental deficiencies. I’ve had them all. Severe Depression, Anxiety, Chronic Illness and Pain. I did not, at any point lean on pharmaceuticals to get me through. I am almost 50, not on any medication, sleep fine, no gastric concerns, mental health is good (23 days out of the month) and most days I have energy for what I need to. I have used cannabis off and on for years, legal or not.

I am an avid supporter of gay and transgendered people. They have my heart and always will. The pronoun thing befuddles me and I certainly don’t think drag queens should be in a government run school, but then I don’t think anyone should be in a government run school(that’s another post.) I had an experience as a young 16 year old. I met a man, a gay man and I knew that he was real. He was a Christian, a good one, in all but one way and it tormented him. I can never un-live that experience. He would have done and did do many things to change, but he couldn’t. And his society hated him for it. I am not part of that society and I will never be.

I don’t like guns. I have one, I also live in the woods, with predators. So I have a gun, but I don’t like them. But I still stand for the 2nd amendment. When the cops with guns come for children, don’t start talking to me about taking away my gun. When we all lay down arms, then come talk to me.

I  wish I dressed more sexually. And why shouldn’t I, I love sex and am sexual. As a middle aged married wife and mother I don’t think this is supposed to be a thing. We gotta cover up those stretch marks and keep our sensuality private. I do, I keep mine private and I’m pretty sure I’m wrong. When I see a curvy full grown woman in a skin tight dress I have such admiration. But to be very clear, you can be sensual and modest. It’s not about showing the body. It’s an essence.  I don’t have it and wish I did.

I live a life of quietness in the woods. I homeschool, cook, clean and garden. I like Victoria magazine, transferware, and all things feminine. I like belting out the the good ole hymns like Standing on the Promises and Blessed Assurance in church.  I am a Jesus lover and praise God every day for the gift of Christ. Christians won’t have me though and I’m going to have to be ok with that.





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